Judge Dredd - Dead Man Walking

The Megazine asked for short story to follow Rat Town, so I wrote one about the Holocaust Judges, those shadowy suicide troops of the future who volunteer for missions that they are unlikely to survive. I always wondered what kind of person would sign up for that kind of job when there are so many easier ways to die in Mega-City One. I also wanted to say something about the idea that the Holocaust Judges were able to behave in a manner ill befitting more straight-up law enforcers like Dredd himself. Inspiration-wise, I took The Shield, added a dash of Oliver North, and then named the lead character after my accountant.

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Look. It's a blind-eye thing, okay? It's a last meal for the condemned man. That kind of attitude. If you're an HJ, they cut you some slack. You can turn up a funeral in a beat-up uniform, what the hell. And while you are sitting in your Ready Room waiting for the call to go out and kill yourself in the line of duty, nobody's gonna complain if you bend the rules a little. I've had SJS guys walk right through the Holocaust Ready Room, coughing at the smoke, swearing they can't smell a thing. I've had six Holocaust Judges chasing me through Accounts, threatening to give me a wedgie because I didn't get them enough whisky that week.

Yes, whisky. Lager, vodka, wine. You name it, tobacco, fine. Crack? Coming right up. Tea, coffee, why the hell not? You'll probably die tomorrow, so knock yourself out. And whichever poor punk ends up as your Acquisitions Officer, he's gonna have to get it for you, because you're so drokkin' Special. And even though he's breaking the drokking law, he's gonna have to find ways to get you cocaine at three in the drokking morning. And if you don't like what you're getting, you can do what the hell you like to him, because you're a Holocaust Judge. What are they gonna do, punish you? You've already got a death sentence! So turn Acc-Judge Barrs into your pusher, who's gonna care? Welcome to my world.